Green's St. Louis directory :
6 Preface.
View original image: Page  0006

sonable, charitable portion of the public, I have received every allowance
for not having performed—not merely a stupendous difficulty—but even an
utter impossibility——that of getting up a perfect Directory of the City of
St. Louis. Of the insuperable difficulties of getting up such a work, many
are aware,though a still greater number are not; but the best comment,
or elucidation, having a bearing upon the case, is to be found in the fact,
that, last winter a couple of adventurers from Utopia, Terra Incognita, the
Moon, or somewhere else,descendants from a long ancestral train of Di-
rectory makers, most compassionately came on here, for the purpose of get-
ting up a perfect Directory, for us poor benighted heathen: but, having
advanced a short way in the good work, they suddenly abandoned it in ju-
dicious disgust, on account of the attendant difficulties, and then “putout”
for the land from whence they came.

But while I take great pleasure in bearing testimony to the liberality of
a large majority of the business men of this city, there is, nevertheless, a
small minority of costive souls—though by no means contemptable in num-
ber, in honor of whom I must excuse myself from speaking very lavishly.
While they do, in the main, as good a business as their more public
spirited neighbors, they yet cannot go to the paltry expense of one dollar,
once in every two or three years, for the convenience and accommodation
of the same community that sustains them so liberally! Acting upon the
presumption, that a Directory, to be complete, must include even their
names, as well as those of men of honor, they are not too fastidious to im-
pose upon the latter the expense of giving them publicity and noto-
riety; and thus they manage to get their unworthy names foisted,
as it were, by stealth, and in a manner no more honorable than veritable
theft, into society with the names of gentlemen. I mentioned the names of
about a dozen such cattle, who refused to patronize the last Directory, to
an honorable merchant on Main Street, and he observed : That were he
in my place he would leave all such out of the Directory; and that the
public, being apprized of the cause, would abundantly sustain me in such
justly merited exclusion. I have not carried out the suggestion on this
occasion: but if, in future, the names of such should be found “among the
missing,”—and which is by no means impossible, but withal highly prob-
able—I hope they will not consider themselves as slighted.

Finally: Notwithstanding the obvious, admitted, acknowledged difficul-
ties—not to say impossibility—of getting up a perfect Directory of this city,
I have yet had my maligners for not having turned out, in my former and
first effort, a specimen of ultra perfection. There is a species of biped,
somewhat resembling the human form, possessed of a high order of in-
stinct, but of little or no rationality, to whom Providence, by a seeming
oversight, omitted to impart souls! Their instinct is often mistaken for
reason, on account of the talent, or gift of loquacitywith which, like the
parrot, they are endowed. They form the link in the chain of Creation,
between the higher order of oran-outang, and the lower order of genuine
ebony African—and are designated by naturalistsand learned men, by the
appellation of “albino’s,” or white negroes. These, it is, who have been my
maligners and traducers. Like a certain domestic animal, they will revel
and gormandize upon offal and putrescences, in preference to sound, health-