THE FACT THAT THIS IS YOUR HUS-THIS IS YOUR CHILDREN'S FATHER, HE'S IS THE MAN YOU LOVE, AND HOW IN THE BEGINNING YOU WERE NOT WILLING TO LOSE HIM OR TO SACRIFICE THAT, AND THEN HOW THAT BECAME RECOGNITION THAT IN THE HOPE THAT IT WOULD NOT HAPPEN.
Medgar was my husband, my love, the father of my children. He was my life. And in the very beginning of his involvement with the NAACP and the civil rights movement, I really thought having him—
THIS WILL BE TAKE THIRTY-EIGHT.
Medgar was my husband, my friend, the father of my children, my love, and we both knew that his involvement, his job with the NAACP would possibly cost him his life. And in the earlier years, it was something that I really fought. I could not give full support because I wanted him for us. I wanted our lives to go on for a long period of time, but I realized his total commitment to the cause, I realized that he would not be happy unless he were giving his all, unless he were moving, leading this movement. And we came to realize, in those last few days, last few months, that our time was short, it was simply in the air. You knew that something was going to happen, and the logical person for it to happen to was Medgar. It certainly brought us closer during that time. As a matter of fact, we didn't talk, we didn't have to. We communicated without words, it was a touch, it was a look, it was holding each other, it was music playing—and I used to try to reassure him and tell him, "Nothing's going to happen to you. The FBI is here." [laughs] "Everybody knows you. You're in the press. They wouldn't dare do anything to you."** Medgar's approach was a much more realistic one, and he would say, "Honey, you've got to be strong. I want you to take care of my children, it probably won't be too long." And I said, "Of course not," you know, "That's not the way it's going to be." I have to recall here, perhaps that last day that we had together, when he left that morning and went out of the door, told the children how much he loved them, turned to me and said, "I'm so tired, I don't know if I can go on, but I have to." And I remember rushing to him and holding him and he kissed me and he said, "I love you, I love you," and he walked out of the door. I told him how much I loved him too. He called three or four times during the day, which was a little unusual with all of the activity that was going on at that time. He was very much in demand, from the students, people on the street, everybody. And he called to tell me how much he loved me again.