-we were frightened, we were- the mystery of the unknown, being in the environment, being in the situation that was catastrophic, OK, and here we were um, ah, attempting to do a job that we were duly sworn to do. And a lot of us did things that, that, ah, were terrible, OK? And who is to say whether or not, ah, ah, I would not have done it or somebody else would not have done it if the situation would have been the same. It was not a, a, a pretty picture. Any time that people are brutalized or eventually killed, is not a pretty picture, that's not our jobs.