How did that make it when you
How did it make me feel?
I don't even know if I can describe it.
Bad or good, or--hopeful/hopeless.
Hopeless. I mean we're talking about 21 years ago, how I felt 21 years ago. As opposed to how I feel now. You know. I've got a bachelors, a masters and Ph.D., I've done a lot of things since then, and it's difficult to know how my--