OK, this is important. You went to the office that morning, and you saw the headline, and then su--and it hit you. What hit you?
Well it, it didn't really hit me then. It hit me after I walked into that house. It was cold and it, it was blood everywhere, and it was holes in the wall, and, and then I was, you know, I just begain to realize that the information that I had supplied leading up to that moment, had facilitated that raid. I knew that indirectly I had contributed, and I felt it, and I felt bad about it. And then I got mad. You know, I had uh, and then I had to conceal those feelings, which made it worse. I couldn't, I couldn't say anything I just had to continue to play the role.** And I think it was at that point that I lost, I lost something. I lost something, I mean everything that I thought we were doing to fight crime had a different message after that, you know, it was a, it was a blow. That's the best I can do with that one.